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Stage 5 Clingers

February 2, 2010 Leave a comment

So you’re going through that dating stage, and whether or you’re looking for a potential relationship, or just a casual dating type thing, there are certain aspects you look for in a person, and certain aspects that turn you away from a person. One such aspect is a Stage 5 Clinger.

Don't be a Stage 5 Clinger

What’s a Stage 5 Clinger you ask? Well, it’s someone, guy or girl, who gets attached and clingy really fast or really bad, sooner than they should at all.  According to Urban Dictionary, a Stage 5 Clinger is “A member of the opposite sex that is likely to become overly attached, overly fast. Virgins, those on the rebound, and the emotionally fragile are more likely to have this term applied to them. Originally from the movie Wedding Crashers.”

 There’s defenses and offenses to getting attached to someone. One might become clingy super fast as an insecurity or maybe they’re just really digging you, but as a security one should never get too clingy too soon, when it’s too soon to determine if there’s potential relationship material there or not.

Getting attached to someone too soon could be dangerous for you yourself, as not even knowing this person that well yet, no matter how much you tell yourself “but we connected right away and so well and I’m really comfortable with them” can be bad.  On the other side of the equation, allowing someone to feel this way about you too soon is dangerous as well.  You can end up hurting them, and as common decency, you don’t want to do that. Plus, if you managed to rope a crazy one, who knows what they could end up doing to your car.

So what are some signs of a Stage 5 Clinger?
For sake of not getting too confused we are going to call the person in question “Clinger” whether it’s determined if they are one or not yet.  This way in looking at the signs, you don’t get confused with who’s being talked about in the mumble jumble of he’s, she’s, the opposite sex, etc.  And, sometimes I will be talking in general on ways to not be a clinger.

1) Jealousy too soon
 So you just met or just started hanging out and let’s say, oh, a week goes by.  You all go out with friends or just each other, and already “Clinger” is playing the jealous card.  Say you’re dancing with friends, and you are dancing with one that is of the opposite sex.  You’re clearly just having a good time dancing, but “Clinger” gets upset at you for dancing with another person of the opposite sex and clearly either states that, or acts jealous and tries to storm out.  Nonchalantly too.  You don’t belong to this person yet.  Not even close, so who are they to start making some claim on you already?  It might be time to reassess the situation of dating this person already. 

Blowing up your phone

2) Blowing up your phone
We all know there is some stupid unwritten rule that has been implanted in our brains whether we decide to follow it or not we think about it, that after first meeting or hanging out with someone that you should wait that dreaded number THREE days before trying to call or text them.  If someone is interested in you, they will call or text you.  Whether it’s the next day, or 2, 3 days, or even more away.  Point is if they are interested and they like you, they will want to see you again.  So, “Clinger” texts you right away from the minute you part.  Okay it might be a kind of cute, “nice hanging out with you tonight” sort of end to the night type thing.  But,  if the next day you wake to a text from them, or they are blowing your phone up all day for the next few days before you were planning on seeing them again, this might be a sign.  If they are constantly asking you what you are doing, as if they have some insecurity that you could be with someone else, you might need to tell them to chill. 

3) Too cutesy too fast
You are getting cutesy messages or comments at what you feel is too fast.  They tell you I wish you were here in bed with me, my bed feels empty, I want to cuddle, I miss you already, etc.    Or, they start calling you cutesy names way too soon when you haven’t even established if you’re dating or not yet.  The baby baby baby, sweetie, darling, sweethearts is too soon, especially if you’re not even comfortable holding the person’s hand in public yet. (If the girl is the “Clinger”, they get a shorter allowed time span, whereas if a guy starts doing this too soon, it’s worse then if a girl does, as they are not usually the ones to start with the cutesy names for awhile).  If you haven’t at any way hinted that you want to talk mushy talk yet but they clearly are talking to you like this, you might have a Stage 5 Clinger on your hands.  And, if they keep calling you the cutesy names and are delusional to the fact you haven’t once said anything remotely like that yet, then they’re getting a little ahead of themselves.

4) They spoil you
It is nice to receive gifts from someone you’re seeing, let’s you know they’re thinking about you, but in discretion.  If you are constantly being bombarded by flowers and whatnot, and again you havn’t established anything past “hanging out” you might want to be cautious.  Say you have only been hanging out with “Clinger” for a little while and there is a holiday coming up such as Christmas, and they get you a gift.  First, again, you havn’t established anything with this person yet, and second, gift giving is usually made between two people that have known each other and been hanging out for a good period of time.  Even more in the safe zone of knowing it’s okay to give someone a gift, is if you know you’ve had a steady little “relationship” going for awhile where you know each other is interested in one another.

5) They give you their itinerary
If “Clinger” feels the need to tell you their daily itinerary, from where they went, what they did, to what they ate, and you didn’t even ask, this could be annoying.  Unless you are in a defined relationship, you should still be on the edge of your seat of what’s okay to randomly text the person you are interested in.  You should still be on your guard, not totally dependent on the idea that you have nothing to worry about.  And, if you do have insecurities about where you are with this person, you definitely do not show it.  Part of people just randomly giving you their itinerary of the day is in hopes that you will respond back with what your itinerary of the day is. 

If only it was this easy to tell

6) They Google you
They look into everything you say. Or they “google” things they know about you based off of your Facebook info.  Hello, it’s called conversation, wait to have it.
>You can have an interest in what someone is interested in, but don’t go into stalker mode.   If you do see their Facebook information, don’t just blurt out the next time you talk to them, “Oh so you like this this this n that….” as if you already know their whole life.  It is okay to out of curiosity maybe google something that someone was talking about that you knew nothing about; for example if the person said Peter Lik’s photography is amazing, you are going to have a natural curiosity to go check out some of his work and see just how amazing it really is.  However, if you suddenly start finding out the life history of Peter Lik, buying copies of his work, or looking for art shows with him to try and impress the other person, that is a little much.  It’s okay to be like “I looked up Peter Lik’s stuff and I really liked the Sunlit Birches photo”.  Again, taking an interest in the other person’s interests is OKAY, but going home and doing your homework on a person’s interest is not okay.  And, it becomes clear when “Clinger” is doing this, as they will make it obvious in their conversation with you.

7) A one night stand gone wrong
You meet someone, you hook up, and you really planned that it would just be a one night stand.   Well the person seems to not have grasped this concept although you may have made it obvious, and constantly is blowing up your phone.  Then, after awhile of not answering them, they start to get angry, and send you angry messages saying you’re a dick, a bitch, you know, things along those lines.  Don’t even try and “tap” that again, just run.  This is clearly not someone you would want to try and date if they are so quick to over react.  If you did decide to give this person another chance, they would probably just turn into a Stage 5 Clinger. 

8 ) They’re in your driveway
So, you decide not to hang out with “Clinger” one night, and you’re out, and you start getting weird messages from “Clinger”.  They’re asking what you’re doing, where are you, then you get the wierd messages: “Why aren’t you at home?  You said  you were going to stay home tonight.  I don’t see your car at home. I’m in your driveway.”  Your situation just went from “maybe they’re just getting attached too fast” to “okay, they’re crazy”.  You’ve got a major Stage 5 on your hands and need to cut off all ties while you can. 

What to do if you do have a Stage 5 Clinger:
9) Run Away
Either you can totally just drop the person if it’s become too much. Especially if it reaches the creepy level.  But if you have discovered the person is a TRUE Stage 5 Clinger, you have to cut them loose.  Try and do it in the most decent way you know how, and if they’re so clingy that that doesn’t work, you may just want to change your number despite the fact you have stopped responding to them for awhile now.

10) Work on it
If you do actually like the person but you feel they’re getting clingy too fast, and you need some more space then you’re getting, then just communicate that with them.   Don’t be quick to just drop them without communicating to them first how you feel.  Unless they show absolute signs of crazy, it might be something you could work out.  Some people come from other relationships and are used to one lifestyle of being with someone and may not even know they are being clingy because it was something they got used to with the last person.  Some people might not be sure how you operate and are just going with what they think they should with you.  Either way, if you liked the person before you decided to label them a clinger, try talking to them about it first.  If things don’t get any better after that, well at least you tried.

Look, sometimes you can’t tell if someone  is a Stage 5 Clinger until it’s too late.  You can try and use the signs above to help you figure it out, but when it comes down to it, you’re just going to have to use your better judgement.  And, everyone is different and works in their own ways.  Don’t be quick to label a person a Stage 5 Clinger, and just be done with it, because you could misjudge someone and miss out on a great opportunity.  It’s okay to have some sort of attachment to each other, but it’s up to you to determine how much is too soon, and how soon too soon is.  Always have your guard up and be cautious of the people you are dating.

5 Ways to Fix the NBA All Star Game

January 24, 2010 2 comments

Let’s face it. The NBA All-Star game starters were announced last week and it was a huge let down. Allen Iverson made the team after despite forcing his way out of the Memphis Grizzlies. Kevin Garnett made the team despite missing games and being a shell of himself when he did play. Tracy McGrady almost made the team despite not even really playing at all. For what its worth, the only reason Yi Jianlian (the freaking role player on a three-win team) didn’t make it was because he was purposefully left off the ballot.

Basically, the casual NBA fan has for the most part no idea how to properly vote on those who deserve to be in the All-Star Game.  Here are five ways to fix the NBA All-Star Game voting process:

Allen Iverson

1. Set a Numbers Standard:

Players with good name recognition will always get more votes than lesser-known guys with better stats. The best way to change that would be to the make the greatest offenders ineligible by putting in rules that state that a certain player must play a certain amount of games and accumulate a certain amount of stats.

The stat limits don’t even have to be high. Just say that you have to meet the minimum standards of at least one of the following stats: 15 points, eight rebounds, six assists, and two blocks, or steals. Doesn’t sound like too much, but those limits would have kept McGrady from almost starting for the West this year and would have avoided the embarrassment that it caused when Grant Hill, who hadn’t played all year made the All- Star team a few years back. This is probably the easiest and least controversial change.

2. Change the Positions:

Let’s face it: Point guards are gaining importance as a position and the center spot is losing it. With all the new rules in place that favor guard play and hamper big men (hand checking and zone defenses for example), why is the East starting two shooting guards and why is the West pretending Amar’e Stoudemire is a center (especially considering the starting power forward on the West—Tim Duncan—is a better center than Stoudemire anyway?) Besides, All-Star games are much better when there is a true point guard on the floor.

So, why not just change the positions that fans can vote on in order to acknowledge that the game has changed? Let’s have fans vote on one point guard, two swingmen, and two big men. That way only good centers are rewarded rather than the current situation where someone like Chris Kaman may sneak on.  There will always be a true point guard voted in and the change isn’t so drastic that one team will be made up of completely different types of players than the other one.

3.  Have Fan Voting Count Only for Part of the Selection:

This is the way the NFL handles the Pro Bowl. All fan votes only count for one-third of the roster while player votes and coach votes account for the other two. This allows fans to still vote for starters while covering up for their mistakes as well.

4. Take Away the Fan Vote:

Let’s be honest here. Fan voting doesn’t really make that much sense anymore. They keep messing up. 40 percent of the Eastern conference All-Star starters have no business receiving that honor, and the fans are directly to blame for this.

Plus, these days the vote has become international, which sounds great in theory, but in reality has resulted in all sorts of votes coming in for a player simply because because he plays with someone from their home country. Clearly, fans are no longer voting for players who are most deserving and as a result should lose their right to vote for at all.

5. Let Fans Vote on Different Roster Spots:

Alright, the above was pretty harsh, and it has no chance of happening. Still, what about a compromise? Let the players pick the starters, let the coaches pick the first five reserves, and let the fans vote for the final two players.

This allows fans not only to still be involved in the process, but even makes it more okay for them to pick guys who are perhaps not as deserving because at the end of the day it is still only for the last two roster spots on the team anyway.

Any of these solutions would be a step in the right direction. Make it happen David Stern!

 –Guest Writer: Sid Singh

She’s Just Not That Into You : Segment 1

January 19, 2010 1 comment

So by now almost everyone has heard of or seen “He’s Just Not That Into You”, a movie based on the book by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo.  At least, most women have.  And, not long after seeing the movie, if they hadn’t seen the movie because they read the book, go out and buy the book.  It’s become a sort of Bible to dating for women, so it seems.  So, we get it Greg, you’re telling us all the ways to know a guy just isn’t into us.  But what about the vice versa situation?  Some guys don’t know when to take the hint that a girl is just not that into him.

So gentleman, here are some signs and situations to being able to tell that “she’s just not that into you”.

1) She’s just not that into you, if she says she has a boyfriend:
Whether or not the girl actually has a boyfriend, it does not matter. If she is trying to make it clear that she has a boyfriend, whether it is obvious she is lying through her teeth or not, then she’s just not that into you.

Don't be fooled: She's just not that into you

Situation: Dude sees girl. Dude thinks girl is pretty. Dude wants girl’s number.  So said dude bugs the girl’s friends for her number but she tells them to tell him that she has a boyfriend.  Dude doesn’t believe the friends or still does not care, and continues to persist.  Even if the girl just straight out tells the dude herself that  “sorry I have a boyfriend” Dude will sometimes still persist.  If the girl has to revert to using one of her guy friends to pretend to be her boyfriend, the dude should by now really get the hint

Look  even if the signs are apparent that she does not have a boyfriend, she’s doing everything she can to make it seem like she does have a boyfriend.  Clearly she is not interested, so stop persisting.  Please take the hint and save yourself the shame of her just straight coming out and saying “I’m just not interested in you!”, or something even more embarrassing.  Truth is guys, boyfriend or not if a girl is even remotely interested or finds you attractive, she won’t automatically revert to the “I have a boyfriend” defense.

2) She’s just not that into you, if she says you’re not her boyfriend:
If a girl likes you enough that she is considering the possibilities that you could some day be her boyfriend, she will never point out to you “well you’re not my boyfriend”, especially when it comes to an argument where she is defending herself.  Granted, she may have thought about it before, but as soon as she says that little statement, well you might as well move on guys. 
If you’re out with people and someone, especially a good-looking guy, asks her “is this your boyfriend?” and she is quick to reply “no he’s not my boyfriend” without that “he’s-not-my-boyfriend-yet-but-I’m-not-sure-what-to-call-him” hesitation, then she’s just not that into you. Especially if she doesn’t give you that awkward glance first.  If she seems pretty confident in saying you’re not her boyfriend, don’t expect this “relationship” to go very far.

3) She’s just not that into you, if she doesn’t want to spend the night:
If a girl likes you, she will take the opportunity to sleep over if you let her.  Even if she has somewhere to be in the morning, she’ll at least come over for most of the night.  But, if she actually has nothing to do in the morning, and still won’t sleep over, then she most likely is not interested in you.  And this is after the point you have determined this is not a conservative church-going celebant.  If the two of you have hung out for a while now and the opportunity for her to sleep over has been presented multiple times and she has not taken one, that might be a bad sign.  Even better, if she has been drinking and would rather take the risks of drunk driving then sleep over even though you insisted, I would just throw in the towel now on the chances of her ever sleeping over.

4) She’s just not that into you, if she is using you for your hookups:
So your friend works at a club and you can get that girl and her friends on the guest list cover free.  She takes your offer and shows up.  You are ecstatic, because this chick, who is all dressed up with her clubbing mafia, actually showed up.  You are thinking she must be into you, she actually came, or you are glad it worked.  This doesn’t mean that she is into you dude!  It could simply mean she was just using you.  Or maybe by not being interested in you, she was just naïve to your intentions and saw it as a generous offer.  Look, sometimes guys think they can win a woman’s heart by impressing her materialistically.  And sometimes, “girls just wanna have fun”.

5) She’s just not that into you, if she’s letting you buy her drinks:
Just because a girl let’s you buy her a drink, does not mean she is into you.  This should be obvious in this day and age, but some guys are still oblivious to it. 

Situation: You are at a bar and a girl catches your eye; you approach her and either offer to buy her a drink right away or make small talk first then offer to buy her a drink.  She let’s you and you think, “awesome a chance to keep talking, hit the dance floor, and maybe even get a number”.  Most of the time, these types of guys are wrong.  The statistics are pretty high that women often will accept one drink from a random guy, maybe linger a little as gratitude for the drink, then give an excuse such as “I’ll be right back I have to….”
    >”use the bathroom real quick”
    >”go grab my friend”
    >”check on my friend”
    >”make a phone call
    >”go dance with my friends”
    > etc., you get the idea by now I hope.

Even if you are a bartender, or a DJ, and the same girls keep coming back to your bar, consider this: do you always give her free drinks, or drink cards, passes, anything FREE?  Chances are if you have been, that is why she and her friends keep coming back to you. It’s not that they’re interested in you persay, but that they would rather go to the bar where they know they won’t be paying anything and can still have a good time.

5 Quick Beauty Tips For The Morning After

December 8, 2009 1 comment

Avoid the walk of shame

First step is to make sure that you have the items in your handbag or purse that are reccommended in 10 Essentials For A Girl’s Purse When She Goes Out .

Let’s break this down piece by piece, and try to help you from making an obvious walk of shame or to still look cute for that guy in the morning whether you’ve been out drinking the night before or just slept over:

Hair:
– So you wake up, your hair is going to be a mess.  If you have bangs, you have an even bigger problem, because let’s face it, those bangs shape your face, and when they look funky, so do you.  And yes, I did just say funky.  So what are you going to do to fix your hair?  First option: pull your hair back into a pony tail.  Often if your hair was curled, the curls will have fallen out, and if your hair was straightened, it’s going to be all wavy.  What to do about the bangs though? Perhaps pull them back, or apply some water to try and shape them better.  If you’re hair isn’t too bad of a disaster, try teasing it. It could put some life back into your hair, straight, wavy, or curled. 

Eyes:
– Your makeup is going to be smeared around, or smeared off.  And smeared eyes makes you look hungover and dreadful.  Try wiping away anything that may have smeared under your eyes. That’s the first step in getting rid of those racoon eyes.  Now, hopefully you kept that eyeliner in your purse like I told you to, if you are an eyeliner wearer.  Touch up your eyeliner, whether you have eyeshadow or not, your eyes will look more alive and awake now.  If your eyeshadow has smeared off or is uneven, just wipe the remaining eyeshadow off.  If you have your eyeshadow on you, just do a quick touchup.
– If you have that pair of sunglasses in your purse like I warned you to have in 10 Essentials For A Girl’s Purse When She Goes Out , then you can always throw those on instead if you are leaving right away, or for double the security in making sure your eyes don’t draw you to be a zombie.

Quick touch-ups

The rest of your face:
– Of course in the morning your compact, foundation, blush, whatever, will have rubbed off.  Take out that compact or blush, whatever you have on you, and do a quick touchup just to put some color back in your face so you don’t look so blah.
– Throw on a light coat of lipstick or lipgloss. Even chapstick if that is all you have got.

Breath:
Hopefully you stuck some gum in your purse; if so pop a piece in your mouth.  If you are one of those people that go out alot, or stay over at other people’s places often, you should know to keep a toothbrush, and maybe even a small tube of toothpaste, in your bag.

Scent:
You obviously are most likely to not have deoderant on you, so take out that spray and spray on a couple of mists, to subtly smell fresh.  Don’t douse yourself in perfume.

All of these little processes are meant to be done in 5 minutes maximum of time together.  You don’t want to take all morning after getting ready.  Just a quick fix-me-up when you wake up, so you don’t look so dreadful as you are leaving, or for the remainder of the time you may hang around there.  Plus you don’t want to make it obvious to the other person that you are TRYING to make yourself all done up and cute again.

Top 5 Problems Of Having Female Roommates

December 8, 2009 2 comments

Clothes Everywhere

1)Cleanliness
– Most female roommates have problems doing housework such as taking out the trash, doing the dishes, cleaning the bathroom, etc (because it’s “icky”). Or, they will do it, but in time, not right away. Some will even wait til the trash is absolutely over flowing, in hopes that maybe you will take it out.  Clean as you go. It’s not that hard to rinse off your dishes and throw them in the dishwasher when you are done eating.
– There always seems to be hair everywhere: on the floor, in the sink, on the counter, in the shower, clogging the drains.  It’s not that hard to swoop up your loose hair and throw it in the trash ladies.
-Makeup everywhere. If your makeup spills, clean it up, otherwise it could get all over someone else’s stuff.
– Clothes will be thrown everywhere. In search of that perfect outfit for the day, a pile of clothes will have been thrown onto the floor or bed, and since so much time was spent on trying to find that outfit, oops, there’s no time to put it all away!
– Here is a random response from a guy stating a problem of having a female roommate: “Tampons”. Enough said.

2)Moods
– They nag, wine, complain, have mood swings, and PMS.  One minute you can be getting along great like best friends, the next you can’t stand to be around them.  Or, they can get really emotional or drama prone.  Yes, it’s your roommate, you should care about their lives, but sometimes it’s an obligation as a roommate to site there and listen to the other rant and rave about their boyfriend Jimmy, or best friend Susie.  Especially if you are one of those drama free type of people.

Taking Your Food

3)Borrowing your stuff
– Having female roommates it should be expected that every now and then you might want to swap clothes or accessories.  Some girls might not mind sharing, some might be really possessive about their stuff.
Then there are those, where you would not usually mind letting someone borrow something, but sometimes it gets to the point where they to do and it takes forever for them to return the item, or they never give it back. “I accidentally left it at so-and-so’s house”.  At that point expect that you’re never going to see your item again.
– What is even worse is when they borrow something without even asking.  You may go to look for said item and can’t find it anywhere, then days later it magically appears back in the spot it should have been in to begin with.  Or you notice in a picture on Facebook that your roommate is wearing something of yours that you did not even know they took.
-Also if you are going to take your roommate’s food or tupperware, or you are out of butter and need some for that recipe, be courteous enough to replace it right away.  Same goes for any shampoo, facewash, or any bathroom products.
– Be courteous ladies, ask to borrow something of your roommate’s first. Most of the time they won’t have a problem with it, unless they happen to need it at that time.

4)Bathroom time
– Let’s face it, females have a lot more to do in the shower than guys.  They have more to shave, more hair to wash, usually wash their face more extensively wish exfoliators, and face wash, and apricot scrub, etc.  So, they are going to take longer in the shower. 
– Then there is the application of the makeup, and the doing of the hair, and just getting ready altogether.
– Solution: figure out a schedule or a way that you both can use the bathroom time efficiently.  If you can put your makeup on and get dressed in your room while the other roommate showers, do that, then go back to the bathroom for the rest of you’re getting ready.

5)Bringing guys home
– If they have a boyfriend or a “guy”, it is expected that he will be coming over from time to time or even often.  That is fine.  It only becomes a problem when the guy starts walking around in his boxers like it’s his place too.
– What is worse though, is when they bring random guys home, you don’t know they brought them home, and you wake up to some dude using your bathroom or grabbing a drink from your fridge.  If you are going to have a guy over, even if it is your boyfriend, at least forewarn your roommate.  Shoot them a simple text letting them know, so that they don’t freak out and get out a bat running him out of the place thinking there is some creep or someone breaking in.
– Another note, if you share a room, don’t be doing the nasty or anything of the such with your roommate sleeping in the same room.  No matter how quiet you try to be, they can still tell what you are doing.

(p.s. this is in no way directed toward my own roommate)

What’s hot on Youtube: 5 of the top dancing videos

October 22, 2009 Leave a comment

 There are a lot of dance videos on Youtube that are hot, so to just choose 5 may seem impossible.  Here are 5 of them; included are the amount of views for each video. Keep in mind that the number of views listed here are based on these particular videos that were uploaded alone.

1) Evolution of dance
128,688,546 views
Inspirational Comedian, Judson Laipply, takes you through the decades with some of the most popular dance moves of their times.

2) OK Go – Here it goes again
48,370,478 views
So this is more of a music video, but when it was first released on Youtube the “treadmill music video” became a hit. Treadmill choreographed dancing caught the eye of viewers all over, and anytime you type in “top dance videos” on Youtube, you are bound to cross this one. 

3) Soulja Boy – How to Crank That – Instructional Video
43,661,961 views
Believe it or not Soulja Boy’s instructional video for his famous song “Crank that”, is very popular.  Not only was the song catchy, but so was the choreography, so people everywhere started looking up the dance steps.  If you haven’t “cranked it” at least once, you know you want to try.

4) World of Warcraft: Dancing
14,479,189 views
Alright, so this video was already featured on Deja Loops in What’s hot on Youtube: 10 of the Top World of Warcraft Videos, but it is one of the most viewed dancing videos on Youtube, so it deserved to be presented again. This video shows the different music videos that Blizzard used as inspiration for the character dances on World Of Warcraft.

5) Evolution of Dance 2
7,968,299 views
A sequel to his first performance “Evolution of Dance”, Judson Laipply brings you “Evolution of Dance 2” with new songs and new moves.