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The UM Patriots

September 9, 2009 Leave a comment

So whatever happened to the UM Patriots?  It’s been a couple years since I have seen anything new from them, and upon searching the web, could not find the answer.  Perhaps they graduated and in doing so ceased their shananagins.  Oh wait WHO are the UM Patriots you ask?  The UM Patriots is a group of students from the University of Michigan that videotaped pranks they would do around the school.  Their videos, although sometimes quite simple – which kind of adds to the humor, are quite entertaining. 

My favorite, would have to be the Pac-Man prank, where one student dresses up as Pac-Man, and the other as one of the ghosts.  The ghost chases PacMan throughout the school, through the library, and the computer lab, screaming, as students and teachers just watch.  Perhaps my favorite part that I took from it, was saying “wakawakawakawaka” over and over again to my friends.

THE PACMAN PRANK

Then there is the “Orkin Man” videos where one of the students dresses up as an Orkin Man and pretends to be checking the classroom for termite while the professor is giving a lecture.  Out of no where a giant fly jumps out from behind a wall onto the Orkin Man and the two start going at it.   In the end, the Orkin Man sprays down his opponent, and in victory, a girl from the class jumps up and yells “Oh Orkin Man!”, and he swoops her up and carries her away.

THE ORKIN MAN PRANK

And who can forget the Asian Superman one?  In the middle of class you hear a cell phone go off.  An asian male jumps up and answers the phone, then quickly chucking it at the ground, rips off his clothes, only to reveal a Superman costume underneath, as he flees out the door to go save the day.

THE SUPERMAN PRANK

And last but not least, one you will not find on their website (www.umpatriots.com), is their Ninja video.  The group of UM Patriots come running through classrooms causing havoc, and tossing papers all over the place, only to run right out. 

THE NINJA PRANK

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10 Things You Don’t Know About Your Waiter

September 4, 2009 Leave a comment
Naomi in "Waiting"

Naomi in "Waiting"

10) They smile at you, and laugh with you, but as soon as they turn the corner, they roll their eyes, scowl at you, or laugh AT you.  They do know how to be just as fake as Naomi in the movie “Waiting”.

9) They don’t really care about your life or how your day is going.  Keep your conversation short, they probably can’t wait to get back to the back so they can gossip with co-workers, or get on their cell phones.
Yea Right....

Yea Right....

8 ) They don’t wash their hands as much as you think they would or should; if they wash them at all during a shift.

7) They will let your food sit in the window, then stir it up or adjust it to make it look fresher than it is.

6) Servers do believe in the 5 second rule.  And if it passes 5 seconds, it’s on to the 10 second rule.  Sometimes a longer period of time is game.

5) They will stereotype you and guess what their tip will be, based on your race.  Also if you’re going to leave your number, tip more than 10%. Otherwise you’re for sure not getting a call.

4) They will come to work hungover alot, especially if they are working the breakfast or lunch shifts.

3) If you ordered any type of finger food, i.e.: fries or calamari, they will pick at and eat some of it before it gets to your table.

Birthdays = Annoying

Birthdays = Annoying

2) They hate when you have a birthday at your table, and hate that they have to sing to you.

1) They hate when you ask for a million things or refills, especially when you can’t just ask for it all at once. Or, when THEY ASK if you need anything, you say no, and they come back 2 minutes later and you suddenly need a bunch of stuff, and now they’re busy and have to worry about getting the stuff you could have asked for 2 minutes ago when it was conveinent to them.  If your server asks you if you need anything, take advantage of the opportunity, don’t wait until they can’t.  And never tap or shake your glasses at them, it really annoys them, they’re not you’re slave.

The Basil Mystery

August 2, 2009 Leave a comment

It was a normal slow night at the Grape Garden Restaurant.  After a couple hours business started to pick up enough that the servers had to replace the salad bin with a new full one.  Tarah and Blanca volunteered to do the task, and after more than a quick trip down and up the stairs, were back with the new bin that they had to pack themselves, for the cooks did not have any already filled up.

The upstairs servers went about their business, making salads for their tables.  Slowly huge basil leaves, not ever found in the usual house salad mix, started to fall into the salad bowls.  Dumbfounded, the servers would pull them out, wondering how in the hell they got there!

Walking out of the alley, and then back in, I noticed basil leaves sticking out of the storage closet.  There were only a few leaves at my first encounter.  More and more basil leaves started to appear in the salad mix, and laughing, I would walk away, and walking back into the alley, would notice more basil leaves sticking out of the storage closet!  The basil leaves were growing along the cracks of the closet door.  How was this possible?  First basil leaves in the salad mix, now coming from the closet?? Was that closet so muggy and damp, and god knows what else, that mysterious plants started to grow from it?  Was something coming from the attic above the storage closet?  Were they growing in the walk-in fridge too? 

Finally, came the end of the salad bin, and the end of the basil leaves.  Was it just this one salad bin that had been infected???

Riham and the "growing" basil leaves

Riham and the "growing" basil leaves

Answers:
I first came to learn that the mysterious basil plant that had been growing from the storage closet was not in fact a basil plant growing from the storage closet.  Upon picking out each individual basil leaf from the salad mix, to his amusement, server Riham, was placing the basil leaves in the cracks of the door.  Mystery number one solved.

So how did the basil leaves get in the salad bin to begin with?
Everyone questioning this to each other, we had decided perhaps the prep cook accidentally grabbed a bag of basil along with regular salad mix bags, and packed them all in together.  As we were all pondering this, I noticed Tarah, grabbing a cone cup, trying not to laugh at our ponderings.  That is when it all pieced together for me….

Tarah and Blanca had volunteered to get the salad bin refill when we had run low upstairs, correct?  And it had taken them longer than the usual trip down and up the stairs to get the bin, and they had said they had to fill it themselves, did they not? 
Upon realizing this I quickly blurted out, “You put the basil in the salad mix didn’t you!”  Without admitting it, Tarah started to giggle.  And I pointed out the fact that she was laughing at our pondering.  I finally got her to admit it.  Next, was to ask her if she was retarded or did it on purpose.

My first guess was she accidentally grabbed a wrong bag when she was throwing them in one at a time into the bin.  But lone behold she had meant to toss in a bag that was not the salad mix. For shits n’ giggles.  She pointed out that she thought it was spinach, not basil though. 

So mystery two was now solved.  Servers enjoyed the amusement of having to search through every bowl of salad to pull out the huge basil leaves before handing them to their tables, and thus instead of disposing of them, sticking them in the cracks of the storage closet, leaving the alley to smell quite strongly of basil. 

So what became of the basil leaves at the end of the night?  Surely they could not be left in the crack of the door.  So dispose of the remnants of the night’s fun??? On the contrary.  Riham, who seemed to be the most fascinated with the basil leaves, came up quick with a plot… Gathering all the leaves in his hands, and running down the stairs, through the downstairs kitchen alley, and to the office, he collectively knocked on the door.  Upon the opening of the door, Riham threw the basil leaves at manager Linden Stevenson’s face, making sure every leaf got on him, and then made his quick get away, fleeing back up the stairs and into the alley.  Linden Stevenson’s did not follow.  But was said to have been laughing at the incident, rather than being upset by it. 

Just another night at the Grape Garden Restaurant.

Ice-Pong

July 31, 2009 Leave a comment

Play beer pong? Play basketball? Well we have a new sport that is just for you.

ICE PONG.

One slow day at the Grape Garden Restaurant in…..well we will keep that location private, for sake of the evil district manager finding this and firing us all….a few hooligans started to throw ice in a glass.  It’s harder than it sounds….

How to play the game:

Version of Ice-Pong #1:

Ice-Pong Version 1

Ice-Pong Version 1

1) You set a glass atop a counter, or in this case, the soup bowl heater.
2)  Scoop up a plastic kids cup full of ice (as to not have to keep reaching in the ice bin and contaminating the ice. Health rule number 1: ice is food. Duh.)
3) Find your worthy competetors
4) Stand a good distance away from the glass
5) Start shooting.

You will find that it is harder to get the ice cubes in the glass than you think.  You have to have the rigth aerodynamics.  The right aim. The right angle.  The right toss.  The right amount of force.  And each ice cube is different, so each time your shot is changing. 

Who wins?  You can do whoever makes the most ice cubes in a certain amount of time wins.  But be weary it takes awhile for a good amount of ice cubes to make it into the glass between everyone.  You can keep playing until the glass is full too.  And if you want to be brutal, loser has to drink the glass at the end, because if you manage to fill up the glass, which takes awhile, the ice will have at least somewhat melted by then. 

 

Version of Ice-Pong #2:

Ice Pong Version 2 setup example

Ice Pong Version 2 setup example

1) Set up two jack stands, beer pong regulation distance away from each other.
2) Place big trays on top of the jack stands.
3) Set up glasses, however many you want to play with, on top of the trays, like you are setting up a beer pong table- pyramid style.
4) Fill the glasses a quarter or so full with your choice of beverage.  At Grape Garden, obviously there is no drinking on the job, so we used coke.
5) Get your plastic [kid’s] cup of ice, and set it to the side or hold it in your hand.
6) Start shooting as if this was beer pong.

If the shooter makes it in the glass, you have to drink that glass.  Obviously first person to make all the glasses, wins.

You can set up your own version of this game at home if you do not work at an Grape Garden, or a restaurant, or actually, any other Grape Garden other than the one where this originated from; because I doubt any other Grape Garden’s managers would be as linient.

But Ice-Pong….. it will catch on.  Practice your ice-pong skills today.  It gets more epic than you would imagine. (ie: shot from the stairs half way down the alley. sa-woosh!)