Get That Guy Off Your Mind

So we’re girls, right, and sometimes it is just impossible to not think about a certain guy (or guys).  And it drives us crazy at times, and we just wonder to ourselves, what do I do??

Well best thing to do, is to not think about them.  Chances are they are not thinking about you as much as you are thinking about them.  Happens all the time when we become smitten over some guy, OR we can not stop thinking about how big of a douche bag some guy was.

Best thing to do is to try and distract yourself. (Duh).  But how can we?  Some women think it is impossible, and that she is just never going to be able to get over it.  Well you totally can ladies. 

So there can be two different aspects to wanting to not think about a certain guy: 

1)First is some guy that you do not really care for anymore but just can not seem to avoid thinking about.  Whether it is an ex, some guy you were dating, or either of the two, that ended up being a total douchebag and screwing you over in some way.
2)Second is a guy that you are totally into and/or dating but you are still in that awkward he-does not-want-a-relationship-yet-so-gotta-play-it-cool-phase.  You don’t want to crowd him, you want to respectfully give him his space, and although you totally understand the situation, while he’s off doing his thing, and while you may have your own thing to do, you still think about him constantly. No?  Don’t be freaked out gentleman if you ever hear that from a  girl, it is just what we do. We all do. 

So we need ways to get guys off our minds!  Men think about sex every six seconds, and we think about them every six seconds.  So here are some things that you can do to free your mind from that certain guy.

So in the first case.  A guy that is a lost cause….. You do not want to be still worrying or thinking about them.  Don’t be mistaken, you still want to learn from any mistakes from those situations, but when called for. 
-First of all if the guy was a douche bag, the solution should be easy, maybe cheesy, but easy…go look for another guy to think about.  Although it could wind up being the same cycle, that is something you can deal with later.  But move on for the moment.  How to go look for another guy?  Well if you want to take the easy way out….just go to a bar or club, or a party, or out somewhere where you know there will be guys to hit on, or have hit on you.  This of course is not the option I recommend, but thought I’d get the easy solution out of the way first.
-Then there is realizing that you yourself as a woman and a person, does not necessarily need anyone at all.  You are you, live your life, love your life and yourself, and realize you do not need someone to feel great about yourself.  This often helps you to become more focused on other things that you need to work on.  Other things that are often good distractions in either “Get that guy off your mind” situation.  What kind of things??
                                  1) Work – sometimes we lose track of our need to work, and start taking time off to spend with a guy.  Do not do this to yourselves because it always comes around to bite you in the butt if things do not work out.  Start working more, and distracting yourself with work to get that guy off your mind.  The extra cash flow will also make you feel better.  And then if it was a really bad guy situation, after you get that cash flow going, if you are still not over it, you can do some retail therapy. 🙂
                                2) School – If you are in school, good. Meaning school is a great way to try and get other things other than school, off your mind.  Sometimes homework and studying sucks, but force yourself to do it.  Crunch those numbers, study those chemical reactions, as boring as it might be, you will be distracted, and gain some knowledge at the same time.  It never hurts to do better in school. 
-Put your priorities first ladies, and everything else should fall into place.  When you find yourself focusing on yourself more, and you are not out there looking for something, it all comes back around to you eventually.

Another great distraction is physical activites.  This could mean running, swimming, playing some ball, whatever physical activity you prefer, helps.  It also gets you in better shape too; this could be a confidence booster you need too.  Then you will be feeling so great, you will be like “Bob who? Whatever, I’m looking gooood.”  My personal preference, would have to be rock climbing.  It is not for everyone, but I find that when I am climbing, I do not think about anything else.  Not about stresses from school, work, or……guys.  Your mind is completely cleared, and all you are worrying about is the route you are trying to finish on the wall.  Awesome stress-reliever, awesome source of distraction.

Alright so if any of the above options seem like they would bore you, or that they would not distract you enough, or you would find yourself still thinking about said guy between the times such as “I do not want to study right now, I don’t know how to do this equation, I need a study break”, there is always the best option.  A more fun option:  Go hang out with your friends!!  If you are still needing the human interaction go out with your friends!  Go for a drive with them, some sort of adventure, out to a bar, whatever; just get out there and do something with your friends.  Of course try to refrain from talking about guys, because even though sometimes venting about guys feels good to do with your friends, and no matter how much they tell you he was a douche bag to make you feel better….you still are thinking about the guy!  Get your nails done, dress up for no reason, grab a cocktail.  Don’t drink? Grab a freakin’ Martinelli and pretend it is champagne while you girl-time it up and watch your favorite sitcom or movie.  And refrain from the movies that are going to remind you of “that guy”.  Of course it does not just have to be your girlfriends, you can hang out with your guy friends too or a mixture of both.  Sometimes hanging out with your good guy friends can be better because then you can see some guys are actually trust-worthy, well, to you at least.  Making traditional days with your friends is also a good idea.  If there is a day out of the week you and your friends decide to always do something, then both you, and the guy, will know that there is a time where you both will be able to take some space from each other and do your own things.  Example: Every Tuesday my good group of friends and I would go to a restaurant/bar for two-dollar Tuesdays, then go to a local bar and play beer pong or sing karaeoke, every week; we call them Traditional Tuesdays.   Great source of distraction, once again.  Plus you never want to be the type of friend that disappears on your friends for some guy, because in the end who else are you going to have to go to when things fall through?

All of these options are useful whether you are permanently trying to get a guy off your mind, or just temporarily while you two are taking some space from each other.  And don’t ever crowd a guy, give him his space.  And while he is having his space, go frolic at the beach with your friends.

 

originally published on Jul 24, 2009 @ 1:54