She’s Just Not That Into You : Segment 2

Here is the next segment of She’s Just Not That Into You : Segment 1

6) She’s just not that into you, if she’s not responding to your texts or calls soon enough:
When a girl is into a guy, she is usually very attentive to her phone. This means when you send a text message, she probably reads it as soon as she got it, and if you call, she will pick up if she can. If you get a delayed response, with no explanation for the delayed response, don’t get a response before you end up sending another text to her, or she replies very bluntly, she’s just not that into you. Then again she could just be playing that “let him chase me” game, and thinks it’s to her safety to keep you guessing. You can thank the schmut that she dated before you for this.

You receive one-worded texts

7) She’s just not that into you, if she sends you one-worded texts:
It’s been found that most girls hate receiving one-worded, or even one-lettered text messages. It’s annoying, why send another text just to say “k”? So, if a girl is doing this to you, that means she probably isn’t really wanting to carry on much of a conversation with you. You may occasionally get these types of texts, but if you are getting them constantly, then she just may not be that into you.

8 ) She’s just not that into you, if she doesn’t occasionally offer to pick up the tab:
When a girl is into a guy, she will at some point offer to pick up the tab. Or won’t even offer, will just beat you to it. If she never offers, always expects you to get it, or totally hesitates before she throws money in, she just may not be that into you. Girls like to take care of the guy that she likes, and if she actually does like him, she has an appreciation for him always picking up the tab, and will thus offer to herself.

9) She’s just not that into you, if she’s not sleeping with you anymore:
We could go into why a girl isn’t sleeping with you at all, but let’s focus on why she isn’t anymore. So perhaps you started hanging out with a girl you used to date, hang out with, or just hook up with. Whichever the case, you had slept together before, and now she won’t sleep with you. Or you’re still hanging out with someone and they just stop wanting to have sex with you. You figure, “we were sleeping together before, why wouldn’t she want to anymore?” Well, I hate to say it but she’s just not that into you….anymore. Another likely possibility is that she is sleeping with someone else and prefers to sleep with them, but likes hanging out with you still. Still, it means she’s just not that into you. Getting even more in depth, she could be in the process of getting back together with someone else, she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings and just end it, so instead she just stops sleeping with you while you two slowly grow apart, and she then doesn’t feel guilty about sleeping with someone else as far as that other guy goes.

She won't sleep with you anymore

You can also look at it this way: was she just getting out of a relationship or something with another guy when she slept with you? You should know the term: REBOUND.
Or, what if you were that person that hurt her before. Sometimes when hurt, girls, after being pushed away, will eventually come to a point, if you push her away hard enough, that she doesn’t have the slightest bit of interest in you or attraction to you anymore. No matter how much she was into you before, emotional damage you did to her in the past could have damaged her attraction to you as well.

10) She’s just not that into you, if she doesn’t dance with you:
So some girls just might not like to dance because they think they can’t or whatever. But if you’ve got a girl here that you know likes to get down and dance with her friends all the time, well if she likes you she’ll probably dance with you. If she’s just not that into you, she may try and avoid to dance with you. If she’s dancing with everyone else, you notice she tries to get her friends to pull her towards them when you try to dance with her, or she makes up some excuse that she’s going to run to the restroom real quick when you try to dance with her, then, you guessed it, she’s just not that into you. When a girl is totally into a guy she will try getting him to dance with her whether he wants to or not. If you notice she doesn’t want to dance with you, don’t keep trying, it’s just going to make her more uncomfortable, and make her just not that much more into you.

Stage 5 Clingers

So you’re going through that dating stage, and whether or you’re looking for a potential relationship, or just a casual dating type thing, there are certain aspects you look for in a person, and certain aspects that turn you away from a person. One such aspect is a Stage 5 Clinger.

Don't be a Stage 5 Clinger

What’s a Stage 5 Clinger you ask? Well, it’s someone, guy or girl, who gets attached and clingy really fast or really bad, sooner than they should at all.  According to Urban Dictionary, a Stage 5 Clinger is “A member of the opposite sex that is likely to become overly attached, overly fast. Virgins, those on the rebound, and the emotionally fragile are more likely to have this term applied to them. Originally from the movie Wedding Crashers.”

 There’s defenses and offenses to getting attached to someone. One might become clingy super fast as an insecurity or maybe they’re just really digging you, but as a security one should never get too clingy too soon, when it’s too soon to determine if there’s potential relationship material there or not.

Getting attached to someone too soon could be dangerous for you yourself, as not even knowing this person that well yet, no matter how much you tell yourself “but we connected right away and so well and I’m really comfortable with them” can be bad.  On the other side of the equation, allowing someone to feel this way about you too soon is dangerous as well.  You can end up hurting them, and as common decency, you don’t want to do that. Plus, if you managed to rope a crazy one, who knows what they could end up doing to your car.

So what are some signs of a Stage 5 Clinger?
For sake of not getting too confused we are going to call the person in question “Clinger” whether it’s determined if they are one or not yet.  This way in looking at the signs, you don’t get confused with who’s being talked about in the mumble jumble of he’s, she’s, the opposite sex, etc.  And, sometimes I will be talking in general on ways to not be a clinger.

1) Jealousy too soon
 So you just met or just started hanging out and let’s say, oh, a week goes by.  You all go out with friends or just each other, and already ”Clinger” is playing the jealous card.  Say you’re dancing with friends, and you are dancing with one that is of the opposite sex.  You’re clearly just having a good time dancing, but ”Clinger” gets upset at you for dancing with another person of the opposite sex and clearly either states that, or acts jealous and tries to storm out.  Nonchalantly too.  You don’t belong to this person yet.  Not even close, so who are they to start making some claim on you already?  It might be time to reassess the situation of dating this person already. 

Blowing up your phone

2) Blowing up your phone
We all know there is some stupid unwritten rule that has been implanted in our brains whether we decide to follow it or not we think about it, that after first meeting or hanging out with someone that you should wait that dreaded number THREE days before trying to call or text them.  If someone is interested in you, they will call or text you.  Whether it’s the next day, or 2, 3 days, or even more away.  Point is if they are interested and they like you, they will want to see you again.  So, “Clinger” texts you right away from the minute you part.  Okay it might be a kind of cute, “nice hanging out with you tonight” sort of end to the night type thing.  But,  if the next day you wake to a text from them, or they are blowing your phone up all day for the next few days before you were planning on seeing them again, this might be a sign.  If they are constantly asking you what you are doing, as if they have some insecurity that you could be with someone else, you might need to tell them to chill. 

3) Too cutesy too fast
You are getting cutesy messages or comments at what you feel is too fast.  They tell you I wish you were here in bed with me, my bed feels empty, I want to cuddle, I miss you already, etc.    Or, they start calling you cutesy names way too soon when you haven’t even established if you’re dating or not yet.  The baby baby baby, sweetie, darling, sweethearts is too soon, especially if you’re not even comfortable holding the person’s hand in public yet. (If the girl is the “Clinger”, they get a shorter allowed time span, whereas if a guy starts doing this too soon, it’s worse then if a girl does, as they are not usually the ones to start with the cutesy names for awhile).  If you haven’t at any way hinted that you want to talk mushy talk yet but they clearly are talking to you like this, you might have a Stage 5 Clinger on your hands.  And, if they keep calling you the cutesy names and are delusional to the fact you haven’t once said anything remotely like that yet, then they’re getting a little ahead of themselves.

4) They spoil you
It is nice to receive gifts from someone you’re seeing, let’s you know they’re thinking about you, but in discretion.  If you are constantly being bombarded by flowers and whatnot, and again you havn’t established anything past “hanging out” you might want to be cautious.  Say you have only been hanging out with “Clinger” for a little while and there is a holiday coming up such as Christmas, and they get you a gift.  First, again, you havn’t established anything with this person yet, and second, gift giving is usually made between two people that have known each other and been hanging out for a good period of time.  Even more in the safe zone of knowing it’s okay to give someone a gift, is if you know you’ve had a steady little “relationship” going for awhile where you know each other is interested in one another.

5) They give you their itinerary
If “Clinger” feels the need to tell you their daily itinerary, from where they went, what they did, to what they ate, and you didn’t even ask, this could be annoying.  Unless you are in a defined relationship, you should still be on the edge of your seat of what’s okay to randomly text the person you are interested in.  You should still be on your guard, not totally dependent on the idea that you have nothing to worry about.  And, if you do have insecurities about where you are with this person, you definitely do not show it.  Part of people just randomly giving you their itinerary of the day is in hopes that you will respond back with what your itinerary of the day is. 

If only it was this easy to tell

6) They Google you
They look into everything you say. Or they “google” things they know about you based off of your Facebook info.  Hello, it’s called conversation, wait to have it.
>You can have an interest in what someone is interested in, but don’t go into stalker mode.   If you do see their Facebook information, don’t just blurt out the next time you talk to them, “Oh so you like this this this n that….” as if you already know their whole life.  It is okay to out of curiosity maybe google something that someone was talking about that you knew nothing about; for example if the person said Peter Lik’s photography is amazing, you are going to have a natural curiosity to go check out some of his work and see just how amazing it really is.  However, if you suddenly start finding out the life history of Peter Lik, buying copies of his work, or looking for art shows with him to try and impress the other person, that is a little much.  It’s okay to be like “I looked up Peter Lik’s stuff and I really liked the Sunlit Birches photo”.  Again, taking an interest in the other person’s interests is OKAY, but going home and doing your homework on a person’s interest is not okay.  And, it becomes clear when “Clinger” is doing this, as they will make it obvious in their conversation with you.

7) A one night stand gone wrong
You meet someone, you hook up, and you really planned that it would just be a one night stand.   Well the person seems to not have grasped this concept although you may have made it obvious, and constantly is blowing up your phone.  Then, after awhile of not answering them, they start to get angry, and send you angry messages saying you’re a dick, a bitch, you know, things along those lines.  Don’t even try and “tap” that again, just run.  This is clearly not someone you would want to try and date if they are so quick to over react.  If you did decide to give this person another chance, they would probably just turn into a Stage 5 Clinger. 

8 ) They’re in your driveway
So, you decide not to hang out with “Clinger” one night, and you’re out, and you start getting weird messages from “Clinger”.  They’re asking what you’re doing, where are you, then you get the wierd messages: “Why aren’t you at home?  You said  you were going to stay home tonight.  I don’t see your car at home. I’m in your driveway.”  Your situation just went from “maybe they’re just getting attached too fast” to “okay, they’re crazy”.  You’ve got a major Stage 5 on your hands and need to cut off all ties while you can. 

What to do if you do have a Stage 5 Clinger:
9) Run Away
Either you can totally just drop the person if it’s become too much. Especially if it reaches the creepy level.  But if you have discovered the person is a TRUE Stage 5 Clinger, you have to cut them loose.  Try and do it in the most decent way you know how, and if they’re so clingy that that doesn’t work, you may just want to change your number despite the fact you have stopped responding to them for awhile now.

10) Work on it
If you do actually like the person but you feel they’re getting clingy too fast, and you need some more space then you’re getting, then just communicate that with them.   Don’t be quick to just drop them without communicating to them first how you feel.  Unless they show absolute signs of crazy, it might be something you could work out.  Some people come from other relationships and are used to one lifestyle of being with someone and may not even know they are being clingy because it was something they got used to with the last person.  Some people might not be sure how you operate and are just going with what they think they should with you.  Either way, if you liked the person before you decided to label them a clinger, try talking to them about it first.  If things don’t get any better after that, well at least you tried.

Look, sometimes you can’t tell if someone  is a Stage 5 Clinger until it’s too late.  You can try and use the signs above to help you figure it out, but when it comes down to it, you’re just going to have to use your better judgement.  And, everyone is different and works in their own ways.  Don’t be quick to label a person a Stage 5 Clinger, and just be done with it, because you could misjudge someone and miss out on a great opportunity.  It’s okay to have some sort of attachment to each other, but it’s up to you to determine how much is too soon, and how soon too soon is.  Always have your guard up and be cautious of the people you are dating.

She’s Just Not That Into You : Segment 1

So by now almost everyone has heard of or seen “He’s Just Not That Into You”, a movie based on the book by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo.  At least, most women have.  And, not long after seeing the movie, if they hadn’t seen the movie because they read the book, go out and buy the book.  It’s become a sort of Bible to dating for women, so it seems.  So, we get it Greg, you’re telling us all the ways to know a guy just isn’t into us.  But what about the vice versa situation?  Some guys don’t know when to take the hint that a girl is just not that into him.

So gentleman, here are some signs and situations to being able to tell that “she’s just not that into you”.

1) She’s just not that into you, if she says she has a boyfriend:
Whether or not the girl actually has a boyfriend, it does not matter. If she is trying to make it clear that she has a boyfriend, whether it is obvious she is lying through her teeth or not, then she’s just not that into you.

Don't be fooled: She's just not that into you

Situation: Dude sees girl. Dude thinks girl is pretty. Dude wants girl’s number.  So said dude bugs the girl’s friends for her number but she tells them to tell him that she has a boyfriend.  Dude doesn’t believe the friends or still does not care, and continues to persist.  Even if the girl just straight out tells the dude herself that  “sorry I have a boyfriend” Dude will sometimes still persist.  If the girl has to revert to using one of her guy friends to pretend to be her boyfriend, the dude should by now really get the hint

Look  even if the signs are apparent that she does not have a boyfriend, she’s doing everything she can to make it seem like she does have a boyfriend.  Clearly she is not interested, so stop persisting.  Please take the hint and save yourself the shame of her just straight coming out and saying “I’m just not interested in you!”, or something even more embarrassing.  Truth is guys, boyfriend or not if a girl is even remotely interested or finds you attractive, she won’t automatically revert to the “I have a boyfriend” defense.

2) She’s just not that into you, if she says you’re not her boyfriend:
If a girl likes you enough that she is considering the possibilities that you could some day be her boyfriend, she will never point out to you “well you’re not my boyfriend”, especially when it comes to an argument where she is defending herself.  Granted, she may have thought about it before, but as soon as she says that little statement, well you might as well move on guys. 
If you’re out with people and someone, especially a good-looking guy, asks her “is this your boyfriend?” and she is quick to reply “no he’s not my boyfriend” without that “he’s-not-my-boyfriend-yet-but-I’m-not-sure-what-to-call-him” hesitation, then she’s just not that into you. Especially if she doesn’t give you that awkward glance first.  If she seems pretty confident in saying you’re not her boyfriend, don’t expect this “relationship” to go very far.

3) She’s just not that into you, if she doesn’t want to spend the night:
If a girl likes you, she will take the opportunity to sleep over if you let her.  Even if she has somewhere to be in the morning, she’ll at least come over for most of the night.  But, if she actually has nothing to do in the morning, and still won’t sleep over, then she most likely is not interested in you.  And this is after the point you have determined this is not a conservative church-going celebant.  If the two of you have hung out for a while now and the opportunity for her to sleep over has been presented multiple times and she has not taken one, that might be a bad sign.  Even better, if she has been drinking and would rather take the risks of drunk driving then sleep over even though you insisted, I would just throw in the towel now on the chances of her ever sleeping over.

4) She’s just not that into you, if she is using you for your hookups:
So your friend works at a club and you can get that girl and her friends on the guest list cover free.  She takes your offer and shows up.  You are ecstatic, because this chick, who is all dressed up with her clubbing mafia, actually showed up.  You are thinking she must be into you, she actually came, or you are glad it worked.  This doesn’t mean that she is into you dude!  It could simply mean she was just using you.  Or maybe by not being interested in you, she was just naïve to your intentions and saw it as a generous offer.  Look, sometimes guys think they can win a woman’s heart by impressing her materialistically.  And sometimes, “girls just wanna have fun”.

5) She’s just not that into you, if she’s letting you buy her drinks:
Just because a girl let’s you buy her a drink, does not mean she is into you.  This should be obvious in this day and age, but some guys are still oblivious to it. 

Situation: You are at a bar and a girl catches your eye; you approach her and either offer to buy her a drink right away or make small talk first then offer to buy her a drink.  She let’s you and you think, “awesome a chance to keep talking, hit the dance floor, and maybe even get a number”.  Most of the time, these types of guys are wrong.  The statistics are pretty high that women often will accept one drink from a random guy, maybe linger a little as gratitude for the drink, then give an excuse such as “I’ll be right back I have to….”
    >”use the bathroom real quick”
    >”go grab my friend”
    >”check on my friend”
    >”make a phone call
    >”go dance with my friends”
    > etc., you get the idea by now I hope.

Even if you are a bartender, or a DJ, and the same girls keep coming back to your bar, consider this: do you always give her free drinks, or drink cards, passes, anything FREE?  Chances are if you have been, that is why she and her friends keep coming back to you. It’s not that they’re interested in you persay, but that they would rather go to the bar where they know they won’t be paying anything and can still have a good time.

5 Quick Beauty Tips For The Morning After

Avoid the walk of shame

First step is to make sure that you have the items in your handbag or purse that are reccommended in 10 Essentials For A Girl’s Purse When She Goes Out .

Let’s break this down piece by piece, and try to help you from making an obvious walk of shame or to still look cute for that guy in the morning whether you’ve been out drinking the night before or just slept over:

Hair:
- So you wake up, your hair is going to be a mess.  If you have bangs, you have an even bigger problem, because let’s face it, those bangs shape your face, and when they look funky, so do you.  And yes, I did just say funky.  So what are you going to do to fix your hair?  First option: pull your hair back into a pony tail.  Often if your hair was curled, the curls will have fallen out, and if your hair was straightened, it’s going to be all wavy.  What to do about the bangs though? Perhaps pull them back, or apply some water to try and shape them better.  If you’re hair isn’t too bad of a disaster, try teasing it. It could put some life back into your hair, straight, wavy, or curled. 

Eyes:
- Your makeup is going to be smeared around, or smeared off.  And smeared eyes makes you look hungover and dreadful.  Try wiping away anything that may have smeared under your eyes. That’s the first step in getting rid of those racoon eyes.  Now, hopefully you kept that eyeliner in your purse like I told you to, if you are an eyeliner wearer.  Touch up your eyeliner, whether you have eyeshadow or not, your eyes will look more alive and awake now.  If your eyeshadow has smeared off or is uneven, just wipe the remaining eyeshadow off.  If you have your eyeshadow on you, just do a quick touchup.
- If you have that pair of sunglasses in your purse like I warned you to have in 10 Essentials For A Girl’s Purse When She Goes Out , then you can always throw those on instead if you are leaving right away, or for double the security in making sure your eyes don’t draw you to be a zombie.

Quick touch-ups

The rest of your face:
- Of course in the morning your compact, foundation, blush, whatever, will have rubbed off.  Take out that compact or blush, whatever you have on you, and do a quick touchup just to put some color back in your face so you don’t look so blah.
- Throw on a light coat of lipstick or lipgloss. Even chapstick if that is all you have got.

Breath:
Hopefully you stuck some gum in your purse; if so pop a piece in your mouth.  If you are one of those people that go out alot, or stay over at other people’s places often, you should know to keep a toothbrush, and maybe even a small tube of toothpaste, in your bag.

Scent:
You obviously are most likely to not have deoderant on you, so take out that spray and spray on a couple of mists, to subtly smell fresh.  Don’t douse yourself in perfume.

All of these little processes are meant to be done in 5 minutes maximum of time together.  You don’t want to take all morning after getting ready.  Just a quick fix-me-up when you wake up, so you don’t look so dreadful as you are leaving, or for the remainder of the time you may hang around there.  Plus you don’t want to make it obvious to the other person that you are TRYING to make yourself all done up and cute again.

Top 5 Problems Of Having Female Roommates

Clothes Everywhere

1)Cleanliness
- Most female roommates have problems doing housework such as taking out the trash, doing the dishes, cleaning the bathroom, etc (because it’s “icky”). Or, they will do it, but in time, not right away. Some will even wait til the trash is absolutely over flowing, in hopes that maybe you will take it out.  Clean as you go. It’s not that hard to rinse off your dishes and throw them in the dishwasher when you are done eating.
- There always seems to be hair everywhere: on the floor, in the sink, on the counter, in the shower, clogging the drains.  It’s not that hard to swoop up your loose hair and throw it in the trash ladies.
-Makeup everywhere. If your makeup spills, clean it up, otherwise it could get all over someone else’s stuff.
- Clothes will be thrown everywhere. In search of that perfect outfit for the day, a pile of clothes will have been thrown onto the floor or bed, and since so much time was spent on trying to find that outfit, oops, there’s no time to put it all away!
- Here is a random response from a guy stating a problem of having a female roommate: “Tampons”. Enough said.

2)Moods
- They nag, wine, complain, have mood swings, and PMS.  One minute you can be getting along great like best friends, the next you can’t stand to be around them.  Or, they can get really emotional or drama prone.  Yes, it’s your roommate, you should care about their lives, but sometimes it’s an obligation as a roommate to site there and listen to the other rant and rave about their boyfriend Jimmy, or best friend Susie.  Especially if you are one of those drama free type of people.

Taking Your Food

3)Borrowing your stuff
- Having female roommates it should be expected that every now and then you might want to swap clothes or accessories.  Some girls might not mind sharing, some might be really possessive about their stuff.
Then there are those, where you would not usually mind letting someone borrow something, but sometimes it gets to the point where they to do and it takes forever for them to return the item, or they never give it back. “I accidentally left it at so-and-so’s house”.  At that point expect that you’re never going to see your item again.
- What is even worse is when they borrow something without even asking.  You may go to look for said item and can’t find it anywhere, then days later it magically appears back in the spot it should have been in to begin with.  Or you notice in a picture on Facebook that your roommate is wearing something of yours that you did not even know they took.
-Also if you are going to take your roommate’s food or tupperware, or you are out of butter and need some for that recipe, be courteous enough to replace it right away.  Same goes for any shampoo, facewash, or any bathroom products.
- Be courteous ladies, ask to borrow something of your roommate’s first. Most of the time they won’t have a problem with it, unless they happen to need it at that time.

4)Bathroom time
- Let’s face it, females have a lot more to do in the shower than guys.  They have more to shave, more hair to wash, usually wash their face more extensively wish exfoliators, and face wash, and apricot scrub, etc.  So, they are going to take longer in the shower. 
- Then there is the application of the makeup, and the doing of the hair, and just getting ready altogether.
- Solution: figure out a schedule or a way that you both can use the bathroom time efficiently.  If you can put your makeup on and get dressed in your room while the other roommate showers, do that, then go back to the bathroom for the rest of you’re getting ready.

5)Bringing guys home
- If they have a boyfriend or a ”guy”, it is expected that he will be coming over from time to time or even often.  That is fine.  It only becomes a problem when the guy starts walking around in his boxers like it’s his place too.
- What is worse though, is when they bring random guys home, you don’t know they brought them home, and you wake up to some dude using your bathroom or grabbing a drink from your fridge.  If you are going to have a guy over, even if it is your boyfriend, at least forewarn your roommate.  Shoot them a simple text letting them know, so that they don’t freak out and get out a bat running him out of the place thinking there is some creep or someone breaking in.
- Another note, if you share a room, don’t be doing the nasty or anything of the such with your roommate sleeping in the same room.  No matter how quiet you try to be, they can still tell what you are doing.

(p.s. this is in no way directed toward my own roommate)

10 Annoying Things Not To Do At The Gym

Gym Fashion Don'ts

1) The gym is not a fashion show
-Ladies, don’t put on pounds of makeup, or tons of jewlery - you’re there to workout, not look like you’re ready to go out to the bars.  Besides when you sweat, if you manage to break a sweat, your makeup’s going to run. 
-You don’t need to wear your hooped earings, or dozens of jingling bracelets; you don’t need you’re hair in anything other than a pony-tail, refrain from styling your hair before hand, it doesn’t need to look perfect.
-Now if you’re coming straight from work or somewhere else, okay that’s understandable; but don’t glam-up just for the gym!

2) Don’t wear impractical clothing
-Jeans are usually not allowed at most gyms anyways, and they can’t be very comfortable to work out in to begin with.
-Ladies, you’re at the gym, please refrain from showing up with your sweat pants or shorts that have words written across your butt; see  10 Fashion Don’ts .  You also don’t need to wear the skimpiest clothes ever; some of you guys out might be say oh, please do, but a gym is a place of workout, not a hookup spot like a bar.
-Guys, don’t wear too loose of clothing that your junk is hanging out and exposed. 
-And what’s with ladies that wear thongs to the gym?

3) Loud noises
-Don’t talk on your phone while working out, or if you have to, don’t be so loud and giggly. No one cares about your conversation. 
-If others can hear the music from your headphones, it’s too loud. And please don’t start singing out loud either.
-Grunting really loud - usually guys. Does this really help, or are you trying to draw attention to yourself so people can see how much you are lifting?  It is supposed to give you 75% more effort or energy in what you’re doing, but ifyou’re doing it just to show off please don’t; or at least don’t over-do it.

Leave the cell phones & pick up lines at home

4) Don’t go to a gym with the intention of picking up on someone. 
-Don’t stare at them while they are working out, it is annoying, they came to workout, not have to worry about someone stare at them while they do it.
-Men, they’re boobs, they’re going to move around no matter how many sports bras are or shirts are put on; DON’T STARE.
-Women, don’t ask a guy to spot you when you really don’t need them to; it’s pathethic.

5) Don’t use a machine and half ass it when someone else really wants to use it

6) Give people their space.  If there’s 9 of 10 ellipticals open, don’t take the one right next to someone, space yourself out, so they don’t get all self-conscious.

7) Don’t be a hog
-Don’t hog machines: if you only go to the gym to run the treadmill because “you’re a girl” and heaven forbid you could ever lift a weight, then save your money and go run around your block.  If there’s not many machines at the gym you’re at, be curtious and let someone else hop on for awhile.
-Don’t hog weights, and make sure to put them away when you are done.

8 ) Don’t stand in front of the mirror forever; you can only stare at yourself for so long.  You’re not going to see your muscles grow in front of you.

9) Bring a towel and wipe machines when you’re done with them (come on, ever see that episode of Seinfield?”

10) Make sure you wear deoderant.  You may be going to the gym and are going to sweat anyways, but you can still sweat without smelling so strongly of B.O.

10 Essentials For A Girl’s Purse When She Goes Out

Inside a girl's purse

10) Gum
- Even if you have a little purse, and don’t want to carry a whole pack in your purse, throw a few pieces in.  Gum is always a good thing to have on you; you don’t want smelly breath after eating, and you want to taste fresh if you’re going to be kissing someone.  Plus people always ask for gum, and it could be a silly, but a way nonetheless, to start a conversation with a guy.  Also whether you’ve been drinking all night or not, and you spend the night somewhere other than your own place, if you don’t have a toothbrush on you, gum is always good to have for that morning breath, until you can brush your teeth.

9) Money
-  This should be a given, you always want to make sure you have some cash or a card on you.  Cash especially, because it’s an easier way to keep track of your money, as to avoid overdraft fees if you’re using your debit card. Plus you never know if there’s going to be a fee to get into a bar or club, and most of the time they only take cash.

8 ) ID
-  This should be another given.  If you’re going out, you’re going to need your ID.  Always double check and make sure you have it before you leave the house.  You don’t want to be the friend that when you all finally get down to the bars, forgot her ID, and now you have to go back and get it, or if you drove with them, someone else has to leave and go with you too.

7) Sunglasses
-  Why would I put sunglasses on here?  No, it’s not so you can play the whole “I wear my sunglasses at night…” bit, although sometimes it makes for fun photo opportunities…But the reason is, is so that when you wake up the next day at someone else’s place, and your eye makeup is everywhere, you can only do so much damage control, just throw on those shades and you’re good to go…well, better than before.

6) Lipgloss/Lipstick
- It’s always good to have lipstick, lip gloss, chapstick, something in your purse.  You know every time you get a drink that whatever is on your lips, is going to be rubbing off; therefore, it is going to keep requiring application.

5) Compact, etc.
-  Sometimes when you’re dancing, or just are having a long or crazy night, your makeup tends to rub or need touching up.  Bring your compact with you, whether it’s a powder, foundation, or blush compact, which ever you prefer, bring it.  I always like to bring my blush one, to make sure I’ve got some color in my face.  And, of course, it’s always good for maintaining damage control in the morning.  Most compacts also have mirrors on them, which is handy.
- If you’re one of those girls that always has to be wearing eye liner, make sure you throw that in your purse as well; that little stick won’t take up much room.

4) Camera
-  You never know when there’s going to be a photo opportunity, then again there always is one when you’re out with your friends.  And, if you’re out with a group of girls, girls always like to take a million photos.  Of course you all have to capture not only the fun times, but how good you look; you need to find that new Facebook default picture.  Besides, sometimes you need a way to recollect the happenings of that night.

3) Phone
-  Most people automatically have their phone on them anyways, but sometimes girls don’t like to bother with bringing their phone.  It may be nice to get away from the phone for a little while, as long as you’re with everyone you’re supposed to be with, but sometimes a phone is necessary.  If you somehow get separated from the group, which happens, you need your phone to find them.  Or, if you’re not having a good time, or you need your phone as a decoy, you can play with your phone, text someone how you’re having a lame time, or pretend like you are texting someone so as to maybe avoid conversation with someone you don’t really want to be talking with, or from that random stranger that comes up to you.  Then if there is that random stranger that you think is cute or are interested in, well now you can exchange numbers.  It’s the 21st century, hardly anyone writes their number down on a piece of paper anymore, they just enter it away in their phone.

2)  Spray
- You get hot and sweaty at those crowded bars or clubs, whether it’s because you’ve been dancing your ass off or the place is just too stuffy.  You don’t want to stink; girls like smelling good.  Even when girls go to take their yearbook photo in high school, they for some reason spray perfume or body spray before hand. It’s not like people can smell you in the picture, but we do it anyways.   Sometimes guys use it as a way to talk to you too.  You know a guy does not really care what the name of your perfume is, it goes completely over their head, but they’ll ask you anyways, tell you you smell good, and bam, they’ve managed to find a way to talk to you.

1) Teasing Comb
- Alright, so I know many girls don’t even think to use a teasing comb in the first place on a day-to-day basis, but ladies, the teasing comb is an under-praised object.  First, volume in hair is usually a good thing.  When you go out and you’re dancing, or you know your hair is going to fall from its beginning-of-the night style, the teasing comb can save you.  Even if you’re all sweaty.  When your hair looks like a hot mess, pull out that teasing comb, whether your hair is styled straight, curly, whatever, and go to it.  Make sure you get the top layers of your hair for sure.  The teasing comb can help add not only volume, but put some character back into your hair.  If you have room for a travel size can of hair spray, throw that in your purse too, it can help save your hair, or prevent it from getting to this place a little longer.  If all else fails, make sure you have a hair tie with you always ; might be your last hope.

10 Post-Breakup Remedies

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

1) Let It Out
    -Go ahead, vent, whine, rant and cry or yell to your friends, express your feelings.  Getting it all out right away is the first step to moving on. Wallow then move on.  Don’t let it build inside because then you’ll just fester over it longer. 

2) Friends & Getting Out
      -Go out with your friends, have a good time, dance, sing, laugh, whatever, just make sure you’re having a good time.  Trust me when you can laugh with your friends, he won’t even cross your mind.
      -Go ahead and go to the bars or clubs with your friends.  Don’t play the rebound card, but go ahead and flirt with new guys, let them buy you drinks, even jump on the dancefloor if you want to.  An ego boost never hurts.
      -Take a roadtrip.  There’s so much to explore, you won’t have time to think about “him”.  Getting away to a new town always helps from feeling suffocated too.

3) Change your hair:
      a)Get a hair cut.
      b)Change your hair color. Dye it. Highlight it. Whatever.
      -Neither of these  have to be a drastic change, or they can be.  Either way you have something you need to go home and play with now, and figure out how you’re going to style it.  They’re good time consumers, and time consumption means distractions from thinking about “him”.  Plus when your new hair style is all done and looking hot, you’ll be happy with the way you look, and in a better mood.  For women, if they think they look good, they feel good.  And this could be just the confidence booster you need to get out, have fun, maybe meet someone new, and realize you’re better than ”him” anyways.

Retail Therapy

4) Retail Therapy
      -If you got the cash, go indulge yourself in some retail therapy.  Get a cute or hot new outfit that you know you’ll look good in.  Next step: flaunt it.  Take your new hair, your new outfit, and go show it off to the world.  New clothes, new shoes, and new accessories always makes a girl feel better. It’s just in our nature.  If you don’t have the extra cash, well if you can do cheap, there’s always those random asian clothing stores that have random cute things for cheap, or stores like Forever 21. Go ahead and spend a little, you deserve it.

5) Beauty
     a) Nails – Get your nails done whether it’s a mani- or a peti-, cleaned up, painted nails, or acrylics/white tips… the girlier you feel, the better you feel.  Again, feeling pretty doesn’t hurt in the process to getting over a guy.  Plus you can bring a friend along to do some trash talking and gossiping;  it is a good stress reliever as your sitting in those chairs wondering what the heck your nail lady is saying about you in her language. 

Change your hair & makeup

     b) Makeup - Whenever a girl gets new makeup she is always eager to not just play with it, but go out with it.  Get a new mascara that gives you fuller, longer lashes. Go ahead and get that $7 tube of mascara instead of your usual $3 tube.  You’ll feel more flirty.  Don’t be afraid to try a new color of eyeshadow. Are you used to wearing that more natural look? Get crazy and throw on that purple or black, whatever shade that is different from your usual style.  If you feel more comfortable with the natural look that’s fine too, it’s just as attractive.  Maybe just try a new earth tone color.  And of course every girl loves a good lipstick or lip gloss.  Be a little flirty or seductive.  Point is to feel sexy.
     c) Spa & Massages – Of course there is always just relaxing.  Go to a spa, get a nice facial or massage.  Let someone else take care of you.  Going to a spa and/or getting a massage is a great stress reliever.

6) Clean
     – Believe it or not, cleaning can be fun.  Turn some music on, and get out that Windex.  Clean your desk, car, bedroom, or any other room in the house, and you’ll find not only is cleaning therapeutic, it’s productive.  The external act of cleaning allows for an internal cleansing as well.  Plus then you have a clean office, home, and car; something that probably needed to be done anyways. 

7) Write It Out
      – So this should go along with venting to your friends, but sometimes a girl just needs to get out all her feelings to herself.  There’s always something you’d rather not whine about to your friends.  So write it in a journal – paper or online.  If you’re feeling artsy, use it as inspiration to write a new song, or a poem.  Turn your feelings into creative venues. 

 Then of course there are all the things listed and explained in Get That Guy Off Your Mind :
8 ) Work
      – Spending time at work, and working your butt off not only distracts you from thinking about the guy and the breakup, but it’s a good way to make more money, which doesn’t hurt if you need to do some of the suggestions listed above.

9) School
     - Catch up on your schoolwork, or get ahead.  Study, go to your classes, focus.  You’ll do better in school, and your mind will be on other things.

Work out

10) Fitness
      - Working out is not only a good stress reliever and another distraction from thinking about “him”, it’s healthy for you.  Getting in shape never hurts.  Get to the gym, work out at home, run on the beach  or around the block.  Play a sport, go hiking,  it doesn’t matter what you choose, any sort of physical activity is a good remedy.  Besides when working out has paid off, you’ll feel good about yourself and have more of a confidence boost.

Sky – Josh Radin (feat. Ingrid Michaelson)

Josh Radin - Simple Times

 Making his first big debut off of Zach Braff’s movie, The Last Kiss, with song We Were Here, Joshua Radin has come a long way.  Couple years later, and he comes out with album Simple Times, and on it, my favorite song by Joshua Radin, Sky.  Of course even better, is the version featuring Ingrid Michaelson.  The addition of her voice gives the song more emotion, as her melodic tone emphasizes a woman’s perspective.  Skyis a song about a man who is dreaming his beloved left him and how breaking up hurts, but then he wakes to his love and realizes it was just a dream and how he basically can’t live without her and is happy to be there with her.  Ingrid, filling in the role of the female voice, gives pretty much the same scenario where her man has left her for someone else; then she wakes up and realizes he is still there.  She had fallen asleep after them fighting which had led to her bad dream.  But in both cases the worry of breaking up is only in their dreams, and they wake up to reality that they are still together. 

Of course it’s one of those perfect love songs with fears that every couple goes through.  And of course there are those people who listen to the song and wish that they had that sort of relationship, or who have recently been broken up with and where in the song the part that is the dream, it is their reality, and what they should be waking to, like in the song, is what they can only see in dreams.  Meaning aside, you’ll find yourself soon enough able to sing along with the song, and caught in a melodic trance to Joshua Radin’s Indie-acoustic tunes.

Sky

I woke dreaming we had broke
Dreaming you left me for someone new
And you cried, drying those brown eyes
Crying you’re sorry – sorry won’t do

But this is the way I need to wake
I wake to you
And you never left me
All that I dreamt had been untrue
Open my eyes
I see sky

Oh, oh, oh, oh, you know the way to keep me on my toes
I, I, I will be fine – just say you’ll stay forever mine
‘Til we fall asleep tonight

Last night, we had a great fight
I fell asleep in a horrible state
Then dreamt that you loved my best friend
My heart would not mend – seemed it was fate

But this is the way I need to wake
I wake to you
And you never left me
All that I dreamt had been untrue
Open my eyes
I see sky

Oh, oh, oh, oh, you know the way to keep me on my toes
I, I, I will be fine – just say you’ll stay forever mine
‘Til we fall asleep tonight

Sometimes I forget to love you like I should
But I’d never leave you – no, I never would
I never would

Oh, oh, oh, oh, you know the way to keep me on my toes
I, I, I will be fine – just say you’ll stay forever mine
Oh, oh, oh, oh, you know the way to keep me on my toes
I, I, I will be fine – just say you’ll stay forever mine
‘Til we fall asleep tonight
‘Til we fall asleep tonight

Get That Guy Off Your Mind

So we’re girls, right, and sometimes it is just impossible to not think about a certain guy (or guys).  And it drives us crazy at times, and we just wonder to ourselves, what do I do??

Well best thing to do, is to not think about them.  Chances are they are not thinking about you as much as you are thinking about them.  Happens all the time when we become smitten over some guy, OR we can not stop thinking about how big of a douche bag some guy was.

Best thing to do is to try and distract yourself. (Duh).  But how can we?  Some women think it is impossible, and that she is just never going to be able to get over it.  Well you totally can ladies. 

So there can be two different aspects to wanting to not think about a certain guy: 

1)First is some guy that you do not really care for anymore but just can not seem to avoid thinking about.  Whether it is an ex, some guy you were dating, or either of the two, that ended up being a total douchebag and screwing you over in some way.
2)Second is a guy that you are totally into and/or dating but you are still in that awkward he-does not-want-a-relationship-yet-so-gotta-play-it-cool-phase.  You don’t want to crowd him, you want to respectfully give him his space, and although you totally understand the situation, while he’s off doing his thing, and while you may have your own thing to do, you still think about him constantly. No?  Don’t be freaked out gentleman if you ever hear that from a  girl, it is just what we do. We all do. 

So we need ways to get guys off our minds!  Men think about sex every six seconds, and we think about them every six seconds.  So here are some things that you can do to free your mind from that certain guy.

So in the first case.  A guy that is a lost cause….. You do not want to be still worrying or thinking about them.  Don’t be mistaken, you still want to learn from any mistakes from those situations, but when called for. 
-First of all if the guy was a douche bag, the solution should be easy, maybe cheesy, but easy…go look for another guy to think about.  Although it could wind up being the same cycle, that is something you can deal with later.  But move on for the moment.  How to go look for another guy?  Well if you want to take the easy way out….just go to a bar or club, or a party, or out somewhere where you know there will be guys to hit on, or have hit on you.  This of course is not the option I recommend, but thought I’d get the easy solution out of the way first.
-Then there is realizing that you yourself as a woman and a person, does not necessarily need anyone at all.  You are you, live your life, love your life and yourself, and realize you do not need someone to feel great about yourself.  This often helps you to become more focused on other things that you need to work on.  Other things that are often good distractions in either “Get that guy off your mind” situation.  What kind of things??
                                  1) Work – sometimes we lose track of our need to work, and start taking time off to spend with a guy.  Do not do this to yourselves because it always comes around to bite you in the butt if things do not work out.  Start working more, and distracting yourself with work to get that guy off your mind.  The extra cash flow will also make you feel better.  And then if it was a really bad guy situation, after you get that cash flow going, if you are still not over it, you can do some retail therapy.
                                2) School – If you are in school, good. Meaning school is a great way to try and get other things other than school, off your mind.  Sometimes homework and studying sucks, but force yourself to do it.  Crunch those numbers, study those chemical reactions, as boring as it might be, you will be distracted, and gain some knowledge at the same time.  It never hurts to do better in school. 
-Put your priorities first ladies, and everything else should fall into place.  When you find yourself focusing on yourself more, and you are not out there looking for something, it all comes back around to you eventually.

Another great distraction is physical activites.  This could mean running, swimming, playing some ball, whatever physical activity you prefer, helps.  It also gets you in better shape too; this could be a confidence booster you need too.  Then you will be feeling so great, you will be like “Bob who? Whatever, I’m looking gooood.”  My personal preference, would have to be rock climbing.  It is not for everyone, but I find that when I am climbing, I do not think about anything else.  Not about stresses from school, work, or……guys.  Your mind is completely cleared, and all you are worrying about is the route you are trying to finish on the wall.  Awesome stress-reliever, awesome source of distraction.

Alright so if any of the above options seem like they would bore you, or that they would not distract you enough, or you would find yourself still thinking about said guy between the times such as “I do not want to study right now, I don’t know how to do this equation, I need a study break”, there is always the best option.  A more fun option:  Go hang out with your friends!!  If you are still needing the human interaction go out with your friends!  Go for a drive with them, some sort of adventure, out to a bar, whatever; just get out there and do something with your friends.  Of course try to refrain from talking about guys, because even though sometimes venting about guys feels good to do with your friends, and no matter how much they tell you he was a douche bag to make you feel better….you still are thinking about the guy!  Get your nails done, dress up for no reason, grab a cocktail.  Don’t drink? Grab a freakin’ Martinelli and pretend it is champagne while you girl-time it up and watch your favorite sitcom or movie.  And refrain from the movies that are going to remind you of “that guy”.  Of course it does not just have to be your girlfriends, you can hang out with your guy friends too or a mixture of both.  Sometimes hanging out with your good guy friends can be better because then you can see some guys are actually trust-worthy, well, to you at least.  Making traditional days with your friends is also a good idea.  If there is a day out of the week you and your friends decide to always do something, then both you, and the guy, will know that there is a time where you both will be able to take some space from each other and do your own things.  Example: Every Tuesday my good group of friends and I would go to a restaurant/bar for two-dollar Tuesdays, then go to a local bar and play beer pong or sing karaeoke, every week; we call them Traditional Tuesdays.   Great source of distraction, once again.  Plus you never want to be the type of friend that disappears on your friends for some guy, because in the end who else are you going to have to go to when things fall through?

All of these options are useful whether you are permanently trying to get a guy off your mind, or just temporarily while you two are taking some space from each other.  And don’t ever crowd a guy, give him his space.  And while he is having his space, go frolic at the beach with your friends.

 

originally published on Jul 24, 2009 @ 1:54